INTRODUCTION


A cold urban desert landscape, the sun setting
Shall it ever rise again?
The nighttime, criss-crossed wires overhead, buzzing faintly with electricity
That goes where? That does what?


Why is the way not illuminated?


What if the sun, then,


Would not rise unless we lifted it?


Took it upon our hands and backs
Our palms and fingertips scorched for the effort


Nighttime giving way to sunrise
The way illuminated


Burnt hands, sunburnt faces, eyes near blind from brilliance
Throwing off the false gods with their faint passive buzz
The sun was never supposed to set–let us lift it, accept a heroic scalding
So all might bask in sunlight, oh too long has it been since the sun rose


The Million Dollar Question

 

A mix of confusion and awe as I step off the platform.

 

I must have made a mistake. But maybe a good mistake.

 

Birds caw and cicadas click gently, filling the warm afternoon air with sounds of nature. The train platform is open to the air and on the other side of the tracks is a high fence. Beyond it, a bicycle and walking path leading to a park.

 

Children are running around and playing in the park, but surprisingly quietly. Very Japanese.

 

Where am I?

 

"Su mi ma sen… Kasukabe… doko… wakaru des ka?"

 

The girl looked at the board of times, and pointed the opposite direction I came from. I had taken the wrong train and happened to step off in the middle of a quite rural station.

 

It's early afternoon, but the light is low since it's cloudy. It feels like a sleepy evening and the air is heavy with condensation.

 

The train I'm supposed to take arrives, but I let it pass. I'll sit a while.

 

There's a vending machine. I get a "Georgia Black Iced Coffee" for 120 yen.

 

It's exceptional.

 

People drift back and forth across the foot path. Little kids, families, older people.

 

It's so simple out here. Everyone looks happy. An old woman, maybe 70 years old, passes by on a bicycle. The basket on her handle bars is almost overflowing with something in white plastic bags.

 

Time passes.

 

Another train arrives. Leaves.

 

The old woman is riding back in the other direction, her basket empty.

 

I wonder where she dropped the things off at. Perhaps her daughter's house? Maybe it was some food and vegetables, and she dropped it off at her daughter's a kilometer away, tussled one of her grandkids' hair, and then bicycled back to her home.

 

A family passes. Father, mother, pre-teen daughter, six-year old son. The father is a little goofy in a likable way. He swings his arms broadly as he walks and his son is giggling. Dad stops swinging his arms, takes out a cigarette, lights it, takes a drag. Starts swinging his arms again, cigarette in hand. Then they're gone.

 

Another train comes, leaves. I'm still here.

 

A big group of kids, all with full bags of gear. Tennis? Camping? I can't tell. Some athletics or outdoor recreation type stuff. There's like 15 kids, maybe 9 boys and 6 girls. They wind along the path and are gone.

 

The cawing bird has stopped and gone away, but now a little tiny bird is chirping. The cicadas keep rubbing their wings together.

 

A second iced coffee. Another train arrives. Leaves. I'm still here.

 

A pretty girl, maybe 23 years old. She's not beautiful, but she could be: she's a just little bit too self-conscious. She's wearing a summer dress that's a size too big, her hair is a little messy. But she's pretty and she's smiling and seems like a nice person. Without knowing anything at all about her, I guess she'll get married sometime in the next two years and be a very good wife for someone.

 

Apparently this area is a major rest stop for train conductors. I see many of them walking around, getting on and off the train periodically. Or some sort of officials, anyways, with hats and white gloves. Probably train-related, I guess.

 

Maybe a lot of them live out here. It does seem like a nice area to live.

 

I think, this is what I'm giving up.

 

I don't get to have this.

 

It's nice to have it right in front of me, fully on display. This is idyllic suburban life. The people who live here commute to their jobs in Chiba or Tokyo and come home to this at night. Parks, trails, birds, cicadas.

 

People here can broadly understand each other. Everyone's a little different, but most people aren't that different. The people who live here probably have broadly shared values, their kids get educated in broadly the same way, they eat broadly the same sorts of food, and do broadly the same sorts of things. They put in long hours at work, but have lots of stability.

 

The jobs tend to be repetitive after the initial learning curve, and the days blend into each other. Wake early, walk through the clean country air to the station, ride to work, work blends together into long hours, come home and have a late dinner with the wife. Play with the kids if they're still awake, check in on them in their bedroom if they're asleep. Do picnics or go to a family restaurant or go to the movies on the weekend. Go to Tokyo Disney once a year.

 

Everyone here probably has 95% of their life make perfect sense to their neighbors. An eccentric hobby would be making your own fruit jam or woodcarving or having a home gym. And those aren't so eccentric … even the things that are unique about people here, their neighbors can understand. And they get along well and are happy and at peace.

 

Another train arrives. Leaves. I'm going to stay here for a while and think. I'll get a third coffee in a little bit.

 

Last night I was working with a friend of mine on a campaign to get him $1,000/hour rates in his profession, about 10x what he's making now. He's the most talented guy I know in his field, incredibly knowledgeable, empathetic, good at his job. We're looking at people who his work would have a major leveraged impact on and at the kind of people currently making those $1,000/hour rates, how they market and what credentials they have, and how my friend can systematically build those credentials and marketing channels.

 

I quit video games a while back. I try to build things now, that's my video game. I like trying to make money for other people. Scratch that, I don't like the trying, I like the doing of it. I like making other people money … I think I enjoy it even more than making myself money, because I can stay distant from it. Buddhism encourages the center path–neither wanting nor aversion. Most people think Buddhism is about no desires, but they're kind of mistaken. It's about being very neutral about getting, but also about staying away from. It's easy for me to walk the center path with other people's objectives, very calm. Neither wanting nor aversion.

 

Everyone I meet and get along with, I try to make their lives a bit better somehow. Money tends to help, if a person is already running a business I can probably figure out a way for them to increase their volume or margins. I've got quite a bit of experience at it at this point.

 

Established businesspeople tend to take my counsel. I get paid pretty well.

 

But I also try to do it for free all the time. I want everyone who connects with me to be better off.

 

You know what's strange?

 

80% of the people I draw up plans for–plans that would clearly work–don't act on them.

 

It's like everyone fantasizes about … whatever … but once their fantasies start to become reality, they piss their pants and self-sabotage.

 

I'm not being haughty about it. I do it too.

 

I met a good guy recently. He has a chief passion in life, and he has a day job. He doesn't quite care for his day job, but he's good at it and is decently paid. I like this guy a lot, he's really a nice and good guy, so I drew up a complete business plan for him that'd get him 2x-3x what he's normally getting hourly and he'd control when he works.

 

I drew up exactly what the product, marketing, and delivery would be, and exactly how to do it. I volunteered to do a lot of the hard work, the "you don't know what you don't know" type stuff. I was willing to hold this guy's hand and really help him build another income stream and get him a lot of freedom and wealth.

 

I figured he could do his first run of it in 10-20 hours, but he'd get a lot faster once he learned the exact marketing channels, had the relevant accounts and contacts and marketing info, etc. I volunteered to do much of the hard work, said we could go 50/50 on the first run if he's interested (it would have only come out to a few dollars the first time, but it's more fun than playing video games) and he can just own 100% of the business and revenues after it's built.

 

Why not? It'd be fun.

 

He wasn't interested.

 

Well, he was, actually. Sort of:

 

"Still, I like your plan and I think it'd be a winner … if I were prepared to put that much effort in. I've often thought it might work if I grabbed a few of my colleagues and worked together, though they all have a similar attitude to it not being their passion."

 

But his day job isn't his passion either. And c'mon, it's 10 hours. We all fuck around and piss away 10 hours here and there all the time in all sorts of nonsense. This would be an opportunity to work hands-on with someone he likes, to make some money, to have more control over his income and schedule. In 10-20 hours spread over a couple weeks. That's like an hour a day for a short time, and I'm willing to do most of the hard stuff (actually, it's not so hard for me since I have experience in the marketing channels already, so the "figure it out" time is about 95% lower).

 

Another train arrives.

 

Leaves.

 

Still here.

 

Third coffee … ? Not yet.

 

I look up from my thought and writing. A 20 year old guy on a bicycle, black T-shirt, spiked hair, glasses, red backpack. He stops his bike, puts it on the rack, walks somewhere … perhaps he's coming to this station to take the train?

 

No, he's taking his phone out. Meeting someone? Probably.

 

He's not 20. More like 17, I see his face now and he's young. But he carries himself quite maturely for his age.

 

A 14 year old kid in skateboarding clothes sits down two seats over from me.

 

It sure is nice out here.

 

The people here broadly understand each other.

 

If you start trying to be really enterprising and expansive, very quickly no one understands you.

 

I suppose everyone's unique, but y'know what? I think most people aren't that unique. They have perhaps a unique mix of interests, but none of their interests are so crazy. If they are, it's 5% of how they live. The other 95% is normal and their neighbors would perfectly understand them.

 

If you set out building across multiple countries, continents, study constantly, and strike completely off the normal path, then how much of your life makes sense to people on it?

 

30%?

 

Less?

 

Last night, I was talking with my friend, the one I mentioned before about the $1k/hour rates for. I said, "If you did this, I'm pretty sure you could get your first client at $400/hour within 90 days." It would have to be his main thing for the next 90 days, but it would likely work.

 

Week 1: Research and list 10 people achieving at the target level he wants.
Week 2: Research all of their marketing channels and credentials.
Week 3: Figure out which channels/credentials might be attempted to build the fastest.
Weeks 4 and 5: Put in a couple hours each day trying to get those credentials.

 

For instance, make an amazing brochure with what you know in week 4, and then in week 5 print it on super high quality glossy paper at $30 per brochure. (High quality paper is a super hack to come across as ultra-professional.) Send the brochure to the top 50 people you want as clients. Cost: $1500. Follow up with them relentlessly. Offer free services to all of them as a trial. Get a testimonial when one of them inevitably says yes. See if you can use that to approach a key person in their organization and get discount purchasing on your services—sell in bulk. Get a testimonial. Go pitch to people who need elite performance that you're the official supplier for this major prestigious organization.

 

It would work.

 

If it didn't work, go back to week 3/4/5 and pick a new channel and new credentials. Approach magazines or TV or get endorsements or work with someone in a complimentary business and offer them 100% of your first sale to them, or offer your services as a free bonus for anyone who makes a high-end related purchase.

 

It would work.

 

SOMETHING would work. If you kept repeating this cycle, eventually it would work. Maybe not in 90 days, but certainly at some point. If you wanted it enough.

 

My friend, his core goal right now is total financial freedom. I laid out a plan that would get him there.

 

But will he do it?

 

I ask him.

 

"But will you do it?"

 

He cringes and says … "No. I won't."

 

"So, that's the million dollar question. Why won't you?"

 

He replies, "I don't know. I don't even like thinking about it really, but I'll try to. I don't know, fear? I have to confront my potential and the fact that I'm not living up to it? It doesn't feel right? I don't feel ready? I don't think I deserve that much? I think I'd have to study for longer first? I don't know."

 

I nod. I'm the same way. I also see opportunities like this, but have a hard time going for them.

 

About six months ago, I started trying to make one major upside shot per month at millions of dollars. You know, writing a proposal to get $2 million from an enterprising government to build something amazing for them, or trying to start a bank, or trying to get a fast growth technology business funded type stuff.

 

One of those low-percentage/massive upside things.

 

A lot of times I want to throw up when I'm trying.

 

My buddy yesterday, we were talking about all of this at a Chinese restaurant, eating fried chicken, vegetables, and shrimp with excellent iced Chinese tea.

 

He said, "Sebastian, you're crazy but your logic works, the math works."

 

Yeah. I wonder if I'm crazy sometimes. A lot, actually. Why aren't other people trying? I keep layering success on top of success. My life is so weird and interesting and cool and crazy, but I don't have any particularly rare talent. I just do a bunch of stuff that might work, and won't hurt too bad if it doesn't work.

 

So why don't people do it?

 

Hell, I offer to make people money for free, draw up a simple, clearly workable, business plan, offer to help out. 80%+ of them don't take it.

 

A few months ago, a guy I'd been corresponding with for a while wrote to me. I had already asked him, "What are you working on? How can I help?"

 

He told me about a service business he wanted to start, and how it would have all these amazing benefits, and how he'd charge these ridiculously low rates to start to get his first clients, and then he'd be an entrepreneur.

 

I wrote back, telling him it was a great idea and giving him my thoughts on where to start, some points to consider, and otherwise just being really impressed. He's obviously thought this through and the ideas were workable.

 

Another train … I want that third coffee now. One moment.

 

Ah, that's nice.

 

So I wrote to this guy who had this really wonderful set of ideas that were going to work.

 

I hit send.

 

Then I stopped and said to myself, "You know what? That really is a damn fine set of ideas."

 

And I wrote him a second email and said I'll be his first client, I'll pay exactly what he's asking, we can start whenever he wants, and I'll help him hammer out the concept a little bit too. He's a good guy and I think he'd have done good work.

 

He didn't write back.

 

Mind you, this is a guy I'd already known some, we'd swapped emails and chatted on the phone some. He just … I don't know, who am I to judge? But it seemed like he had a dream, but as soon as his dream was about to become a reality he kind of pissed his pants or something.

 

I do it too, you know. Metaphorically piss my pants sometimes in the face of opportunity. Though I'm trying to stop doing that.

 

But why is it so hard to stop? That's the million dollar question … .

 

And maybe this little countryside area is the answer. 

 

The guy who said he's not willing to put in the effort to control his own income, to make more per hour than he's currently making, and improve his quality of life.

 

My buddy who said realistically, he's not going to follow up on that target plan to get him to $1k/hour rates. (Though, we'll try to do something about that and kick each other's asses.)

 

The guy who pitched me on his service business and I said I'd hire him for it exactly as he described and pay exactly what he was asking, and be cool about it as he worked the kinks in his business out.

 

You know what I think it is?

 

You won't be understood once you step off into the abyss.

 

The more you do it, the more people won't understand.

 

The second guy I mentioned, the effort guy? He's got coworkers right now he can commiserate with who understand him. The business idea I mentioned to him doesn't exist as far as I know right now, and there's a demand for it. I'm sure there's a demand for it. And his income is such that even with a low price point he could still make 2x-3x what he's making now and fulfill a market need.

 

But then what? Then he's the only guy doing this thing. No commiseration. People won't understand him as much.

 

And the more you do that, the more people don't understand.

 

If you keep taking all those edges that no one else will, pretty soon your neighbors don't understand you, can't understand you.

 

It's just you.

 

I didn't mention this earlier, but when I first arrived at this train station I cried for the first time in three years.

 

Normally I can't cry. Like, tears just won't come. I don't think that's a good thing. Control your emotions in public, but express yourself in private. Sometimes I've fallen down and wanted to cry, but I never could, no matter what happened and even if the situation called for it. Last time I did was 2008.

 

But I arrived here and I hear the birds and cicadas, and I see all the wonderful green land and clean air, and I see these wonderful, nice, kind people living their lives, and who all really harmoniously truly understand each other.

 

And I got it.

 

It clicked.

 

I don't get to have this.

 

I don't get to have this.

 

I get something else. Something pretty amazing. But I don't get to have normal life.

 

And it looks really, really nice. A lot less neurosis and conflict and striving and fighting forwards.

 

They say the law of diminishing returns on money kicks in around $60k or so.

 

I think they're crazy. They must be thinking only about their happiness as individuals.

 

I want $40 million before I slow down. $40M is enough that you can drop $2 million on building something–a school, a bridge, an orphanage, a shrine, a monument, a massive work of public art–and it's only 5% of what you've got. If you see a deal of a lifetime, you can put $10 mil into it and it's only 25% of what you've got.

 

I think I'll get there. I'll keep identifying the currents and ways forwards, building my skill, being useful, and I'll try to hit the required channels and deliver the value. And I'll just keep going. And it should work. Maybe I'm crazy, but the math and logic seem to work: 

 

1.) Identify what makes people succeed at a massively high level.
2.) Do that.
3.) If that's not working, go back to step 1 and try again.

 

But the further ahead you go, the less people understand you.

 

What a fitting ending to my writing–a young suburban mom and her little daughter have arrived and are joking around and having fun. They look so happy and lighthearted.

 

I've done a lot and I'm really just getting started. But the more you do, the further away you get from being understood, from the joys of normal life, from being understood by your neighbors and backing each other up and living together harmoniously.

 

I cried for the first time in three years when I realized it.

 

The million dollar question … why don't people take the large opportunities in front of them? Why don't they allow their dreams to become realities?

 

Because it means you won't be understood. And we need to be understood, fundamentally, it's so important to us.

 

Maybe that's not the whole answer. But a big part of it. I cried when I realized that's what it was.

 

Mostly happy tears … well, it was a strange sort of emotion. Like when a hero dies at the end of the movie while succeeding in their quest. It's sad and joyful at the same time. There's loss, but what's being done has gotten done.

 

I don't get to have a normal life. I don't get to be fully understood by everyone around me.

 

Okay.

 

Stop crying. Start smiling. Keep building.

 

The train arrives. I get on.

 


 

The Weakest of the Great Men of All Time

 

Me.

 

A few years back, I was getting complacent. I was a successful entrepreneur, in the top 1% for my age. Whenever I compared myself to people similar to me, it wasn't even close. I worked more, accomplished more, produced more, did more meaningful things, was traveling the world. I read more books, did more writing, was generally healthier and more disciplined, spent my time well. I was the top 1% for my age, and even better than that if you measured me against people from similar backgrounds.

 

I think it's easy for people who are doing great to get complacent. You look at the general sloth and laziness and complacency of most people, you see that you're achieving greatly, and you feel like you're so far above that. You give yourself a pat on the back. "Ah, yes, I'm doing great!"

 

I had a shift. I don't remember the exact day, but one day I thought to myself:

 

"I'm not going to compare myself against people my age any more. I'm going to start comparing myself to the greatest men of all time."

 

Instantly, I'd gone from top 1% of my peer group (people near my age, self-made, alive today), to the bottom 1% of the greatest people of all time. I started looking at Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Tokugawa, Meiji, Augustus, Trajan, Socrates, Aristotle, Confucius, Wellington, Rockefeller, Rothschild, Medici, Zhuge, Sejong, Salah, Shah Jahan, and so on.

 

Suddenly I was not doing excellent; in fact, I was behind schedule. In fact, I realized entirely that the path I was on did not lead to where I was capable of going.

 

This is something I do not recommend. It's neurosis-inducing. It's brutal. Mentally taking yourself off the top of a comfortable mountain and putting yourself at the bottom of a larger, more brutal, more intense mountain does not make for contentment, nor happiness.

 

People like to be better than those around them and better than their peers. I was, I really was. I was traveling the world and working on hard problems while most people my age were out drinking beer at parties with other kids. I was playing on a level far above my peers—but what was the difference in how much I built? Going from being top 1% to bottom .9%—is this worth breaking your back and straining for? Is it inspiring, going to be even better than the lazy, complacent children I was comparing myself to? Most young people these days have no real dreams, no strong ethics, no strength. They stand for nothing, they want nothing, they do nothing. Just by trying, even a little bit, you wind up better than most of them.

 

And it's easy to stop there, have a nice life, be very well off. Not me. You see, I have friends, colleagues, acquaintances who are amazing people, who I am honored to serve and associate with. But I don't have any peers. I don't know anyone who wishes to build as much as I do, who want to do as much as I do, who want to serve as much as I do, who want to be strong as I aspire to become.

 

I'm calm in this right now. It's not defiance, it's not a mighty roar. If anything, it is more like a shrug of the shoulders. Yes, I will become excellent. Because, why not become excellent?

 

But it wasn't that way at first. The way we mentally evaluate ourselves, our identity—it has such a huge impact on how we think, how we feel, and what we do. Taking myself mentally out of the top 1% and dropping myself into the bottom 1%—do you know how sickening that feels? Maybe you can imagine it intellectually, maybe, but I doubt I could show you what the emotions feel like. One day, I am feeling good, comfortable, happy, I am achieving and I am proud of my achievements, I am doing better than anyone would have thought possible for me, and doing well by anyone's standards. The next day, I am feeling neurotic, uncomfortable, unhappy, pressed for time, having achieved nothing of what I need to do yet.

 

I am on the bottom of the ladder—no, worse than that, I am on the top of the wrong ladder. I need to climb down, dismantling my old way of doing things. Giving up and forsaking the easy paths, scaling down my comfort, breaking the trivial desires in myself, giving myself over to greater causes, suffering. I had a small very successful thing going, and I dismantled it, and had nothing. And I will not lie, I will not tell you that I was always confident, that I felt strong all the time. Oh, no, many times I was second guessing myself, feeling stupid about my decisions. Things were dissolving, and the way forwards was not clear. I knew that where I came from wasn't the way forwards, but what now? I was lost.

 

I stood still in 2009, I rested and studied. In 1000 years, one year will not seem like a long time. If you hear that a great man was doing well in the from 1600 to 1620, had a bleak year 1621, and pulled through in 1622, you barely notice it while reading the history books. But, y'know, it's different when you're living through that year. A lot of times I wondered if I'd made a mistake, and what the hell was I doing?

 

Things happen slowly at first, then more quickly. I'm seeing things start to move quickly, things are falling into place. I have hit some of a stride, the next steps are starting to become clear. This is good. I would be lying to you if I said I believed in myself all the time. I still doubt, sometimes, but less often each passing day.

 

More and more, I immerse myself in what I'm going to do. I write specs and outlines for my books, I write articles daily, I am starting to contribute to magazines and other people's sites. I walk through dangerous areas at high awareness, observing crime and criminals, and thinking about how to protect the weak from them. I walk through the slums of Saigon, through the dangerous parts of Barcelona at night. I observe. I learn how to protect people. I draw up specs and plans for improving security. I'll have to get better at presenting, but I think I can recruit civilians to work undercover and make themselves look like easy targets for street criminals, draw them out and then crush the criminals. How could we completely dismantle street crime? Perhaps I could recruit some small girls who are martial artists to look unaware, but then have a team in place to spring if a bag snatcher or pickpocket or mugger comes. What do we have to do to build that? Some insurance, perhaps, against injury. Would we need to get deputized by a city? How we would keep our team safe, this is dangerous work … I work on this.

 

I dig through history books and strategy, I read the classics, I study the great men. I listen to audiobooks and learning while doing other things. I classify and reclassify things. I work out and try to combine different branches of social science. There's so much information available for free! How could anyone not dive into it? Neurochemistry is fascinating, maybe I could do some work in that. I study the systems of the body, I want to perfect my own. How to improve the lymph system? Digestion? Energy levels? What are the tolerance building effects of caffeine, at what rate is new adenosine produced when you have more coffee? How long do those levels take to return to normal when you stop?

 

I study social sciences, economics, governance. I am a strategist. I am trying to turn off emotions and sentiment and be rational when I study strategy. Yes, this particular policy is appalling to me as someone who believes in freedom, but it does help achieve XYZ goal. I must be neutral, study even successful people I don't like. My mind should not become an echo chamber.

 

I must train as a warrior, become better with my fists, improvised weapons, firearms. I should become a pilot, and learn how to sail and captain a ship.

 

I presented yesterday to the Director of Marketing for a prestigious local company with my new technology and engineering company. He was skeptical and unimpressed, I couldn't break through, and we were cut short after 15 minutes by someone more important arriving. Not good enough, Sebastian! I need to get better at communicating, showing the ideas I have in my head to people in a way that makes it meaningful to them.

 

I need to understand the nature of faith and religion. I have some faith, and no religion. I like religious people a lot. I need to read all the Holy Books, study the history of all the religions, and connect more with people from various faiths.

 

What will be the next trends in art, and how can I support them? How can we make the visual and sensory world into one that inspires people, pulls them to great heights? I think about what statues I will commission later, what artists I will patronize, what art I'll attempt to make myself.

 

I study charity and philanthropy. How can it be made to work? I draw and re-draw specs for a charity I might build. I publicly commit to giving a percent of my income to charity. Why not? I am strong, it would be trivially easy for me to spend some of my time helping the weak. Originally, I was not going to do so. Then, I decided I would, because why not do so? The aggressively mediocre, though, I am no friend to them.

 

How can I serve the strong and virtuous? Service is the way. What do great people require? How can I provide this? How can I stimulate great thinkers who have minor blocks to write more, to build more, to produce more? If I could inspire 1 out of 100 people I meet to produce at higher levels, then there will be a cascading effect through all of humanity. Everyone will be pulled up.

 

I have much to do. Who am I? No one in particular. But I'm working on things that matter. No losing sight, no getting comfortable nor complacent. Successful for my age? Bah! To hell with that. I keep the counsel of General Washington, President Jefferson, Shoguns Ieyasu and Yoshimune, Emperors Meiji and Augustus. My tutor in combat is Miyamoto Musashi, in economics it is Adam Smith, in strategy it is Carl von Clauswitz.

 

Would someone who reads this call me arrogant? Perhaps, but they are mistaken if so. There is no arrogance. I know who I am, what I am. Greatness is not something you are, it's something you do, it's something you work towards. I, me, the entity, the human, the flesh and blood, the chemicals and electricity—this is nothing of particular significance. But I'm unified, mind and body, to work on hard and difficult and great problems, to serve, to do more, to be more, to become strong and stronger, to inspire, to aid, to protect, to build, to write, to learn, to establish.

 

It is hard to say this publicly. I have drawn a line in the sand—if I fail, it will be known. The people who want all to be mediocre will perhaps hate me, would love to show me as an example of over-reaching and the danger of that, would love to use me as a story of why you shouldn't aim too high. I brace myself. I breathe. No defiance. Calmness, acceptance. No arrogance. I am not a great man, I simply aspire to work on great problems and great things. I'm no one in particular.

 

Is it too early to put myself at the bottom of the company of great men? Well, who is anyone to say but me? Someone will emerge from this era as the greatest strategist; I will work towards it, because it is a worthy goal. I will serve, build, inspire, connect, defend, protect, establish, write, experiment, teach, help. Or perhaps I will not, but I will try to. Over the next years, perhaps I can put hand over hand, slowly ascending, not as myself individually, but as the conduit for the works I do. There are problems and opportunities all over the place, the world could be much different than it is. Most people either do not see these at all, or see them and accept it as the way things are. Not me. I build. I try. Counsel me, ancients, share your strength and wisdom with me, so that I might become stronger. I will do my part of the bargain. We will see how the rest shakes out.

 

Again, I should say—I do not recommend this path to you. I do not recommend it to anyone. But if you take up this road, you are welcome to call on me as your counsel and strategist from time to time. I serve the strong and virtuous. I turn my focus to things that matter.